Beleaguered television network, Channel 7, has today announced that the beloved star of Sunrise the cash cow is to be replaced with the network’s newest star, the drug mule. ”The cash cow has been good for us, but, you know,… Read More ›
Australia
Dutton Tipped To Announce Homer Simpson As New Nuclear Advisor
Australian Opposition leader (yep,really), Peter Dutton, is tipped to announce this week that fictional character Homer Simpson will be his new nuclear advisor in the run up to the next election. ”Homer Simpson brings a lot to the table,” said… Read More ›
”What Do You Mean School Holidays Is Still 2 Week’s Off!” Scream Nation’s Teachers
Australian school teachers have let out a collective scream, upon the realisation that the World’s longest term still has a week and a half to go. ”Oh, dear God please end this term,” cried Launceston Primary school teacher Mary Chalk…. Read More ›
Australia’s Defamation Lawyers Name Bruce Lehrmann Their Person Of The Decade
Australia’s defamation lawyers have today put out a press release naming Channel 7’s second favourite son, Bruce Lehrmann, their person of the decade. ”Up until recently we thought that Ben Roberts-Smith was the goose that laid the golden egg,” said… Read More ›
Abbott Demands Albo Send The Army To The UK To Help Find The Princess
Former Prime Minister (yep, really) Tony Abbott, has demanded that current Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, send the army over to the UK to help track down Princess Kate. ”A strong monarchy makes a strong Australia,” said Mr Rabbit. ”Albo needs… Read More ›
Barnaby: ”Happy International Women’s Day, I’m Rooting For Ya!”
Peter Dutton’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has issued a press release today wishing the women of Australia a happy international women’s day and reminded them that he is rooting for ’em. ”No one can ever accuse Barnaby… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 