A shire man suspects that a Christmas present and card that he received today from his mum and dad’s cat may not actually have been bought, wrapped up and written by the pet. “Mittens is a pretty smart cat, like he… Read More ›
Christmas
Woman With Christmas Shopping Already Done Overdoses On Smugness
A woman is in a critical condition in a Sydney hospital after taking an overdose of smug whilst declaring to her friends that she had completed all of her Christmas shopping several weeks before the event. “A female was admitted… Read More ›
Barnaby Promises To Make It Illegal To Sell Gingerbread People Without Baked On Genitals
The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has pledged to make it illegal in Australia to sell gingerbread people without baked on genitals, in an effort to combat wokeness. ”I’ve had a bloody gutful, what is… Read More ›
Barnaby Promises To Only Wear Australian Flag Patterned Silk Boxers
Peter Dutton’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has pledged his allegiance to his leader by swearing that from now on he will only wear Australian flag patterned silk boxers. ”I am a man that usually doesn’t… Read More ›
Australians Wonder What Culture War Dutton Will Dream Up Next To Distract From His Dud Nuclear Plan
Australians have woken up this morning (pun not intended), wondering what culture war they will have inflicted upon them today by Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, in an effort to distract the Nation from his dud nuclear plan. ”Has he done… Read More ›
Social Group Man-Child Attends BBQ With Cadbury Favourites Instead Of Actual Food
Local man-child and social group deadweight, Trevor Millson (33), has again attended a Christmas social bbq with his friends brandishing nothing but a $10 box of Cadbury favourites. Wearing a t-shirt and jeans combo recycled from his laundry hamper, Trev… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 