Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has demanded that Prime Minister Scott Morrison and Cabinet give him the power to exclude people from the country or else he will piss all over the floors of parliament. “This is just… Read More ›
Malcolm Turnbull
Nation Stunned To Learn That Man Who Can’t Do Basic Arithmetic Still Has Job As Finance Minister
Australians were shocked to learn that a man who last year struggled with basic arithmetic, Matthias Cormann is in fact still the Nation’s Finance Minister. “Him, really? The bloke that bungled the numbers in the leadership challenge is in charge… Read More ›
Dutton Replaces Strangling Puppies With Meditation
Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has told reporters how he has replaced his old hobby of strangling puppies with a new hobby of meditating. “The old Peter would come home after a day of failed leadership attempts and… Read More ›
Katter Launches GoFundMe Campaign To Punch Out A Crocodile
Benevolent Queensland Senator, Bob Katter, has launched a GoFundMe campaign to raise money in support of his upcoming battle against a Queensland crocodile. “Well after it worked for Archbishop Folau”, stated a spirited Katter, “I knew the Aussie people would… Read More ›
Peter Dutton To Launch New Young People’s Initiative The Dutton Youth
The MInister for the Dark Arts, Peter Dutton has announced that he is looking at solving the youth unemployment problem with the launch of his new initiative, the Dutton youth. Speaking to The (un)Australian the Dark Lord explained the thinking behind… Read More ›
AFP Raids Matthias Cormann’s Office In Search For Dodgy Calculator
The Australian Federal Police has raided Minister for Finance Matthias Cormann’s parliamentary office in what insiders are claiming is a search to locate the dodgy calculator that the Senator used to calculate the numbers for the Minister for the Dark… Read More ›
