Opposition leader (for now), Sussan Ley, has promised to add an extra S to her name in an effort to turn around her shockingly low polling numbers. ”To the people of Australia, I have listened and I have learnt, you… Read More ›
Newspoll
Labor’s Thumping Election Win & Boom In Polling Proof The Coalition Needs To Move Further To The Right Claim Sky News
Australian election result denialists, Sky News, have spent the day ranting and raving over how the Coalition needs to move further to the right, following the release of the first post-election news poll which has the Coalition doing worse than… Read More ›
”My Polling Reveals Peter Dutton Will Be The Next Pope,” Declares Sharri Markson
Sky News Australia’s leading poll expert, Sharri Markson, has told her viewers, all 6 of them, that internal polls leaked to her reveal that the former member for Dickson, Peter Dutton, will be declared Pope at this week’s Conclave. ”I… Read More ›
Coalition Backbenchers Busy Googling How To Polish A Turd
Coalition backbenchers despairing at the dreadful election loss delivered by their leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, have spent the day googling how to polish a turd in anticipation of shadow Treasurer Angus Taylor challenging for the leadership. ”It was… Read More ›
“My Husband Is Not A Monster” Says Kirilly Dutton As She Throws A Sackful Of Offal Into His Cellar
The wife of Opposition leader Peter Dutton has denied that her husband is a monster who prowls the neighbourhood after dark feeding on small mammals, saying he is just a misunderstood knockabout bloke who loves making dad jokes with the… Read More ›
Dutton Calls Out The Media For Discriminating Against His Glass Jaw
In what some are calling a lover’s tiff, Opposition leader Peter Dutton, has angrily accused his biggest fans, the Australian media, of discriminating against his glass jaw. ”They know I’m sensitive to criticism, so what’s with all the questions,” whined… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 