Sky News Australia’s leading poll expert, Sharri Markson, has told her viewers, all 6 of them, that internal polls leaked to her reveal that the former member for Dickson, Peter Dutton, will be declared Pope at this week’s Conclave. ”I… Read More ›
Peter Dutton
Sussan Promises To Revitalise The Lliberals By Adding An Extra L
Australia’s leading numerologist and as it stands interim leader of the Liberal party, Sussan Ley, has thrown her hat into the ring to become full-time leader by telling colleagues that she will make the party great again by adding an… Read More ›
Sky News Baffled That Their 10 Viewers Didn’t Swing The Election Dutton’s Way
Low-rating news channel, Sky News Australia, have taken a break from mourning the loss of their idol, Peter Dutton, to wonder how their viewers, all 10 of them, didn’t swing the election in the Coalition’s favour. ”It baffles me, I… Read More ›
Coalition Backbenchers Busy Googling How To Polish A Turd
Coalition backbenchers despairing at the dreadful election loss delivered by their leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, have spent the day googling how to polish a turd in anticipation of shadow Treasurer Angus Taylor challenging for the leadership. ”It was… Read More ›
ABC Staff Offered Grief Counselling Should Dutton Lose The Election
ABC management have sent out a memo to all staff with an offer for grief counselling to any staff who may need it, should the ABC’s favourite politician, Peter Dutton, lose this weekend’s federal election. ”The relationship between the ABC… Read More ›
Angus Promises To Release The Coalition’s Costings As Soon As He Finds The Napkin He Wrote Them On
Peter Dutton’s replacement, err, shadow Treasurer, Angus Taylor, has promised the Nation that he will deliver the Coalition’s costings as soon as he finds the napkin that he wrote them on. ”People need a bit of patience, we will get… Read More ›