That leathery old bloke in speedos who’s always strutting around at the beach wants you to take a shot at guessing how old he is. “How old do you reckon I am?” asked wrinkly beachgoer Bert Vovo as he puffed… Read More ›
Peter Green
Locked Down Sydney Residents Still Unaware Of Existence Of Something Called “Instant Coffee”
Millions of Sydney residents braved lockdown restrictions yesterday to lumber down to their favourite café to pick up a cup of coffee, still blissfully unaware that something called “instant coffee” was invented decades ago. “I’ve had to mill around in… Read More ›
Australia’s Daggy Dads Demand Scott Morrison Stop Appropriating Their Culture
The head of Australia’s largest Daggy Dad lobby group has called for the Prime Minister to stop appropriating the culture of genuine hapless fathers to further his own political ends. ‘You just can’t blithely identify as a daggy dad if… Read More ›
Penis Drawn On Shire Man’s House Definitely A Banksy
A shire householder is 100% certain that a penis and balls spray painted on the front wall of his house is the work of ironic guerrilla graffiti artist Banksy. “While the satirical point that he is trying to make is… Read More ›
Petless Couple Lavish Creepy Amounts Of Attention On Their Children
Friends of a petless Kirrawee couple are concerned that they may be overcompensating for their lack of a cat or a dog by obsessing over their children. “You go over to visit and like the kids are just running around… Read More ›
Nuclear Physicist On Probation After Putting Hot Wheels Cars In Supercollider
A contrite nuclear physicist at CERN has been severely reprimanded after putting Hot Wheels cars at each end of the Large Hadron Collider and conducting experiments to see if anything cool happens when they crash at high speeds. “We caught… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 