A woman is in a critical condition in a Sydney hospital after taking an overdose of smug whilst declaring to her friends that she had completed all of her Christmas shopping several weeks before the event. “A female was admitted… Read More ›
Peter Green
Only Cask Wine From The Goon Region Allowed to Be Called Goon
Winemakers from the Goon region of South Australia are today celebrating after international trademark laws were changed to allow only cask wine from the region to be labelled as “Goon”. “If you want to release a “Goon” style cask wine… Read More ›
“Wish I Was Rich Enough To Eat Like A 17thC Flemish Peasant” Thinks Man Staring In Artisanal Bakery Window
A Sydney man staring idly at the pricey wares on offer in an Eastern Suburbs artisanal bakery is currently wishing that he was wealthy enough to afford to eat like a subsistence farmer from the Renaissance. “You must have had… Read More ›
“Let Me Through, I’m A Wellness Blogger” Says Useless Bloke At Accident Scene
An absolute waste of atoms has heroically pushed his way through the crowd at the site of a horrific accident to administer some wellness to the seriously injured victim. “Stand aside everyone, I’m a qualified wellness blogger,” said grade a… Read More ›
Medieval Peasant Soldiers On At Work Despite Bad Case Of Bubonic Plague
A medieval peasant is continuing to soldier on at work with a heavy dose of bubonic plague despite being urged to take a few days off by his boss and fellow workers. “I noticed on Friday afternoon that Gary was… Read More ›
Parents Given 10 Year Jail Sentence For Taking Pram To Vivid
A judge has sentenced a Sydney couple to 10 years hard labour for the crime of “Being A Thoroughly Entitled Dickhead” after they brought a pram to the annual Festival of Being Crushed in a Crowd, popularly known as “Vivid”…. Read More ›
