Aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has shocked no one with his comments that victims of sexual assault should keep quiet and leave the talking to their lawyers or superiors. ”I don’t want anyone to misconstrue my statements and… Read More ›
Politics
PM Tells Liberals To Stop Screwing Each Other And Instead Focus On Screwing The Voters
Australian Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has issued a firm ultimatum to his Liberal colleagues telling them to stop screwing each other and instead focus on the job at hand of screwing over the Australian people. ”What happened yesterday was… Read More ›
Australians Must Provide Proof That They Voted Liberal Before Being Vaccinated
The Government has announced that any Australians wishing to receive a Covid 19 vaccination must provide proof that they voted for the Liberals at the last election. ”My Government is committed to making sure that all Australians who voted Liberal… Read More ›
MP’s Lobby ScoMo To Ease The Bonk Ban For Valentine’s Day
Coalition MP’s have been making a bee line to the Prime Minister’s office in an effort to get him to ease the so-called bonk-ban which prevents Ministers and their staffers from having sexual relations. ”Come on Scotty mate, let’s end… Read More ›
Morrison Reminds The Press That He’s Already Flogged Craig Kelly With The Warmest Of Lettuce
Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has this morning taken the opportunity to remind the press that he has already flogged Government back bencher Craig Kelly with the warmest of lettuce. The reminder comes after Kelly spent the weekend posting conspiracy… Read More ›
Bill Shorten Seen Shopping At Chadstone’s King Of Knives Store
Former Labor Leader Bill Shorten has been spotted doing some shopping in Melbourne’s Chadstone Shopping Centre, with the Member for Maribyrnong seen walking out of the King of Knives store with armfuls of bags. ”You can never have too many… Read More ›