Australia’s #auspol tragics have been left disappointed today after what they thought was a sign of a new Coalition leader, a puff of white smoke emanating from the Coalition party room turned out to just be Barnaby Joyce smashing a… Read More ›
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”My Polling Reveals Peter Dutton Will Be The Next Pope,” Declares Sharri Markson
Sky News Australia’s leading poll expert, Sharri Markson, has told her viewers, all 6 of them, that internal polls leaked to her reveal that the former member for Dickson, Peter Dutton, will be declared Pope at this week’s Conclave. ”I… Read More ›
Sussan Promises To Revitalise The Lliberals By Adding An Extra L
Australia’s leading numerologist and as it stands interim leader of the Liberal party, Sussan Ley, has thrown her hat into the ring to become full-time leader by telling colleagues that she will make the party great again by adding an… Read More ›
Angus Promises To Release The Coalition’s Costings As Soon As He Finds The Napkin He Wrote Them On
Peter Dutton’s replacement, err, shadow Treasurer, Angus Taylor, has promised the Nation that he will deliver the Coalition’s costings as soon as he finds the napkin that he wrote them on. ”People need a bit of patience, we will get… Read More ›
“My Husband Is Not A Monster” Says Kirilly Dutton As She Throws A Sackful Of Offal Into His Cellar
The wife of Opposition leader Peter Dutton has denied that her husband is a monster who prowls the neighbourhood after dark feeding on small mammals, saying he is just a misunderstood knockabout bloke who loves making dad jokes with the… Read More ›
Dutton Hoping Sky News’ 10’s Of Viewers Can Help Him Win The Election
Interim Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has put his chances of winning the upcoming election in the hands of Sky News Australia’s 10’s of viewers. With Mr Dutton refusing to take any questions from journalists other than those who appear on… Read More ›