Co-Workers Engage In Intelligent Discourse On Terrorism, Immigration.

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For the residents and workers in Sydney, it may be hard to wrap around your head around the armed siege taking place in Martin Place. That is unless you are lucky enough to work in the King Street office of AIG Direct Australia.

Terrorism, immigration, mental health, gun violence: all of these are complex issues that are hard for most people to understand. Fortunately, AIG staffers have benefitted from employees’ loud discussions of the siege, making even the most multifaceted issues easy to digest.

“The problem is, our government lets this happen,” Danielle Thornton, whose political and foreign policy credentials include a three-year bachelor of communications, explained to her office mate, Kimberley Holden.

“They let anyone into this country, no matter what threat they may pose to Australians.”

Kimberley agreed, adding: “They say they want to come here for a better life and then they do this. Well here is the better life. If you don’t like it, don’t come here.”

The staffers of AIG are also well-connected to sources close to the events.

“My friend Kathy from HR says there’s a bomb in the building and that the terrorist has sworn to kill someone today,” Ms Thornton relayed.

Kathy from HR is also believed to be Ray Hadley’s key source.

“They’re going to shut down the airports,” Kevin Begley advised the rest of the office as a plane flew overhead. The airports are always a target.

“That plane right there? A target.”

Ben Straubel informed his co-workers of how Israel deals with terrorist threats: “Do you know what they do in Israel when there’s a terrorist threat? They go to their houses and smash them down. They level entire cities if need be, thus ending terrorism forever.”

While tensions remained high among the people in the office, level heads made sure that the actions of an extreme fringe would not be representative of an entire group of people.

“This is ISIS, Ms Holden explained. They’re an extremist group. They just want death.”

This was quickly reversed when it was pointed out that the flag being held up was not an ISIS flag. Ms Holden clarified: “They’re all the fucking same.”

Matthew Farthing is the Terrorism Correspondent for The (un)Australian. He once verbally accosted Musa Ceratino, but it turned out to be just a man wearing a taqiyah. Follow him on Twitter.

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