Minister for the Dark Arts and wanna be Prime Minister Peter Dutton announced this morning that: “He had released an all-points bulletin to the AFP and his own private army Border Force to round up all these ‘Elf on the… Read More ›
immigration
Santa Claus Detained By Australian Border Force
Merely days before Christmas, a Mr S Claus allegedly from the North Pole has been detained by Australian Border Force whilst trying to enter the country. It’s believed the patron of Christmas was identified by Customs Agents during immigration, his… Read More ›
“No More New Migrants Till We’ve Finished Hating The Ones We’ve Got” Pleads Pauline Hanson
One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has demanded that Australia slow down its immigration rate until she’s had a chance to catch up on hating all the immigrants that are already here. “There’re whole groups of migrants that I haven’t got… Read More ›
Australian, American Immigration Policy Still Based On That One Scene From “Scarface”
Officials from the Australian Border Force and the American ICE have confirmed that their entire policy on refugees seeking to enter the country is still based on that one scene from the 1983 movie “Scarface” where Tony Montana lies his… Read More ›
Dutton Poll Shock 70% Of Australians Avoid Carbs
In a blow to aspiring Prime Minister Peter Dutton a poll conducted amongst the constituents of his electorate, Dickson in Queensland found that 70% of voters tried to avoid carbohydrates, such as potatoes. Speaking to The (un)Australian a terse Minister… Read More ›
“Letting My Ancestors Into The Country Was A Bad Mistake,” Says Peter Dutton
Australia is still paying the price for whoever the knucklehead was who let my ancestors into the country, admitted Peter Dutton in a candid speech to parliament yesterday. “Imagine how much better Australia’s standing in the world would be if… Read More ›
