New Year’s Eve revelers in Australia’s largest city have expressed their dismay at the quality of the midnight fireworks display as Sydney welcomed in 2015 with some bloke running across Sydney Harbour Bridge with five sparklers up his arse.

“I think I’m speaking for all of us when I register my disappointment at having to battle into the city on packed public transport with three kids in tow to witness what can only be described as a major letdown”, said Pendle Hill parent Lex Harrington.

“From our carefully staked out vantage point at Lady Macquarie’s Chair we were ready for a massive display of colourful pyrotechnics but instead all we saw was some joker drop his strides, stick five sparklers up his gooner and set it alight with a cigarette lighter. I’d like to know how this was supposed to cost several million dollars.”

“My kids are in tears and I’m sunburnt to all fuck and for what?” grumbled Denistone mother Narelle Hudson. “It was bad enough that the nine o’clock consisted of some drunk guy rambling around The Rocks with a packet of throwdowns but the twelve o’clock show really took the cake. Next year I’m staying at home.”

“I’m sorry if some members of the public were disgruntled with this years fireworks”, said Sid Osborne, director of the Sydney New Year’s Eve celebrations. “It’s hard to come up with fresh ideas to satisfy the one billion plus audience who tune in every year to watch our display. Personally, I found it dazzling and chicly minimalist.”

Crowds who gathered beside the river Thames in London to see in the new year were similarly irate when the fireworks display consisted of a roman candle tied to a cat’s tail.

Peter Green
http://www.twitter.com/Greeny_Peter

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Categories: Arts

Tags: fireworks, nye 2014, Peter Green