God Says No To Madonna


God has reportedly said no to Madonna as she attempted to tie some old rope around his face.

God was at his favourite nightspot in West Hollywood Saturday night, Hallows, when the 56 year old mega popstar raced up to Him with a ball of string and a pair of scissors.

Onlookers said that God became enraged and threatened to deflate the Queen of Pop’s face. ‘What does a God need to do to get one moment to himself??? Leave me alone. Call my manager.’

Madonna responded in tears, ‘But God this is for my new album, Rebel Heart. You are a rebel heart.’

God said, ‘No darling, I’m the creator of all. Now fuck off.’

The Bar’s manager said that God had been drinking heavily all night, having arrived with his magician son and his gang of 12. ‘They’d flown in directly from Heaven in London. They looked pretty haggard.’

An onlooker said that the night become even more tense when God’s on again off again girlfriend turned up on a donkey, ‘It was pretty random. She asked for a room and God gave her a bottle of vodka.’

Madonna was seen approaching the woman with the same ball of string. ‘The girlfriend had been crying but by the end of the night she and Madonna left laughing completely roped up.’

God left alone. His son and friends reportedly stayed on entertaining guests with water tricks.

Madonna’s new album is out at the end of the month and God is reportedly working on a new project for Easter.

John Cahill

Twitter : @johnbcahill

Categories: Arts

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