Country and western singer Tom T Hall has been charged with murder and cruelty to animals after police confiscated several barrels of watermelon wine, dog collars and tricycles from his Memphis property.
“The so-called secret ingredients of Mr T Hall’s watermelon wine turned out to be the carcasses of old dogs and the bodies of dozens of missing children”, reported senior detective Elmer Johnston.
“Tom was quiet and kept to himself. Every year he would present us with a case of his watermelon wine at Christmas,” said next door neighbour Brenda Robbins. “Come to think of it, you never did hear the sounds of kiddies playing in the neighbourhood and it was kind of funny that my eleven year old corgi Leopold just plain disappeared last year for no good reason.”
Wine expert Len Evans described Hall’s watermelon wine as “crisp, cheeky, with subtle flavours of raspberry, apricot, brat and arthritic basset hound.”
Peter Green
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