Clickbaiters Gonna Bait, Bait, Bait, Bait, Bait –
Internet list generator and occasional news organisation, Buzzfeed Australia, has started a movement to get Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off to win Triple J’s Hottest 100, proving the internet can be utilised as a source to get rich, internationally popular musicians with tons of air play some much needed exposure. The movement has once and for all confirmed those rumours that Mark Di Stefano is actually a 13 year old high schooler.
Reconnect With Your Dad at Coachella –
American music festivals Coachella and Bonnaroo have managed to book acts like AC/DC, Steely Dan, Billy Joel and Robert Plant, taking advantage of the price of liability insurance for artists experiencing cardiac arrest on stage being at a 10 year low. This is good news for Mac DeMarco fans as this will be the first time they’ll have seen their fathers’ in 20 years.
It’s Better to Hand-Wash Than to Fade Away –
The host of your Facebook friend’s homemade jewellery store, Etsy, has taken flack recently for hosting shirts with Kurt Cobain’s suicide note printed on them. As Suicide Note Chic overtakes Normcore as today’s dominant fashion trend, other entrepreneurial designers are key to take advantage. Specifically, I will start selling t-shirts with James Blake’s suicide note emblazoned on them within 7 to 14 days, depending on how long it takes to complete a background check when purchasing a gun.
Speaking of Suicide… –
Bad news for fans of Australian music this week as it was learned that Wil Wagner did not die from as a result of injuries received from defenestration as first reported in my dream last night. Instead the folk-punk troubadour has been prepping the release of The Smith Street Band’s Wipe That Shit-Eating Grin Off Your Punchable Face, their anti-Tony Abbott song. The release of this song will mark the first time anyone under 30 will have been forced to side with Tony Abbott.
Album of the Week, Panda Bear’s Panda Bear Meets The Grim Reaper –
The cure for your youthful embarrassment has been released in the form of Panda Bear Meets The Grim Reaper. One listen to this album and suddenly you’ll realise that there are worse things in your life than singing along to “I just want four walls and adobe slabs for my girls”. Apart from rehabilitating Animal Collective’s reputation the way George W. Bush rehabilitated Bush Sr’s legacy, the new Panda Bear album is great news for fashion designer Fernanda Periera as it means Noah Lennox will finally stop binge watching The Killing, get off the couch and go on tour. Sonically the album combines hip-hop drumbeats with the sounds of Lennox accidentally stepping into muck repeatedly. Pete Kember used to be in Spacemen 3 for Christ’s sake. Album Grade: C
Matthew Farthing is the Entertainment Reporter for The (un)Australian. He once ate squirrel at Mark E. Smith’s house. Follow him on Twitter.