Clive Palmer Puts PUP In Lockdown


The remaining members of Clive Palmer’s Palmer United Party (PUP) are in lockdown this afternoon as the embattled leader attempts to stem the flood of members abandoning the party in the wake of Glenn Lazarus’s shock resignation.

The remaining members were called to an extraordinary meeting at the Coolum Palmer Resort today, with promises of an all-you-can-eat duck BBQ, a ride in Clive’s private jet and a dinosaur to take home afterwards.

Sources inside the building say the doors were locked and armed helicopters began circling as soon as the last delegate arrived.

Mr Palmer’s actions come as Lazarus followed Jacqui Lambie by quitting the party this morning. Senator Lazarus said the fact he only became aware last night of Senator Lambie’s 2014 exit from PUP is indicative of the high levels of secrecy within the party.

It is impossible to tell how many members exactly are inside the building. Mr Palmer claims up to six-and-a-half million party members are “enjoying [his] hospitality” but The (un)Australian has only been able to verify three, not including Senator Dio Wang who has only ever been seen on party advertising material and possibly doesn’t even exist.

Timothy Hugh Govers

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Categories: Politics

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