Clive Palmer Reeling After Losing Another Dinosaur, Vows To Hold Wang Tight


Clive Palmer with Jeff in happier times.

Clive Palmer with Jeff, one the dinosaurs the PUP leader has recently lost.

Mining magnate, politician and amateur Mr Toad impersonator Clive Palmer has been dealt a second traumatic blow in as many weeks with the news that he has lost another dinosaur.

Last week Mr Palmer’s beloved dinosaur statue Jeff was destroyed by fire at its Coolum home and today Palmer’s other favourite dinosaur, Glenn Lazarus, announced was leaving the Palmer United Party (PUP).

After the defection of Lazarus, who followed the lead of PUP defector Jacqui Lambie, all that is left of the party is Palmer and his Wang, West Australian Senator Dio Wang.

When reached for comment, a tearful Palmer told The (un)Australian: “When you lose something you love as I did with Jeff and Glenn, it makes you take stock, which I have and I pledge I will hold on tight to my Wang and show my Wang the love and affection it deserves. I will not punish my Wang. I will work hand in hand with my Wang.”

When asked whether he would seek reconciliation with Senator Lazarus, Palmer stated, “Never say never, but Glenn did hurt me. Jeff the dinosaur will be rebuilt and I think Glenn will be too, I mean how hard is it to find an ex-rugby league player that looks like a brick? What’s John Hopoate up to these days?”

Senator Wang was reached for comment, however a PUP spokesperson stated that all interviews with Wang go through the Palmer.

Mark Williamson

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