‘Stop Being Mean To Tony’ Says Turnbull, Trying Hard Not To Smirk

malcolm turnbull

“Let’s not use this latest incident as another ‘let’s-bash-Tony-Abbott’ occasion,” Coalition frontbencher and Preferred Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull told the press today, while desperately trying to suppress a smirk.

The Prime Minister In Waiting was speaking after yet another gaffe/deeply offensively racist comment backing a policy deepening ongoing genocide against Australia’s First Nations made by Turnbull’s captain and Prime Minister for Indigenous Affairs Tony Abbott.

“Look, you have to view the comments in their full… hahaha…. sorry,” Turnbull said, trying to compose himself and keep a straight face, “their full context to understand… hahaha oh god can you believe what he said this time? Oh my god! Jesus Christ Our Lord this guy’s an idiot! Look don’t be mean to him, he’s trying his hardest! Hahaha I’m a shoe-in!”

A few minutes later, Turnbull finally got his giggling under control only to call the press conference to an abrupt end, saying: “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some packing to do. I’m moving to this great new residence in Kirrabilli in a few weeks with wonderful habour views.”

Carlo Sands

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Categories: Politics

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