Sitting in his underwear swigging from a gin bottle, the man the world knows as “Q” mumbles “I tried, I tried” before bursting into tears again. The secretive founder of the Qanon movement has barely moved from his bedroom since… Read More ›
Carlo Sands
Josh Frydenburg Caught Trying To Commune With Thatcher
Treasurer Josh Frydenberg was spotted sneaking into his home study last night, carrying what looked suspiciously like a Ouija board under his arm before locking the door, a source close to the Morrison government’s “numbers man” told The (un)Australian. The… Read More ›
Man Wants To Know When He Can Go Back To Not Washing His Hands
Scouring news reports for details of what restrictions are being lifted where and when, Brad Murray has just one question: when can he go back to never really bothering to wash his hands? While many have had their lives turned… Read More ›
Introvert Struggling To Find Excuses To Avoid Yet Another Video Call
A frustrated local introvert is wracking their brain for any excuse to avoid yet another video call request. The requests seem to come dozens of times each day, as energy draining extroverts seek any excuse to break the boredom of… Read More ›
Men Panic That If All Sport’s Cancelled They May Have To Start Talking About Their Feelings
With serious talk of major sporting competitions being cancelled due to COVID-19, panic is spreading amongst the world’s men that they could be left with nothing to talk about except for their emotions. “Even our semi-abusive banter that passes for… Read More ›
Local Introvert Feeling Really Positive About Things Right Now
As much of the world follows global News with growing trepidation, one local introvert has expressed just how happy they are at the prospect they’ll not be asked to go anywhere with crowds anytime in the foreseeable future. “This corona… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 