Well, you can’t say he didn’t warn you.
For over 20 years, Jeremy Clarkson has been alarming us about the increasing encroachment of the nanny state into our lives and we ignored him. While we were twiddling our thumbs, we watched as “Jezza” became the lone voice of the rich, white man.
Like the Greek myth of Cassandra, Jeremy was gifted with the power of prophecy and all he asked for in return was millions of British pounds (roughly one billion Australian dollars) from the British tax payer. But unlike Cassandra, Jeremy was cursed with never being believed and, in an irony worthy of my failed Twilight Zone reboot pitch, has been slayed by the monster he fought so hard to protect us from.
Well “Jeremy Clarkson, Host of BBC’s Top Gear” has been killed and Political Correctness is the beast that did it, a piece of a blood stained, ill-fitting sports jacket still pierced on its tusk.
Now the only place we can hear his wisdom is in his newspaper column, on his popular twitter account, at whatever inevitable project he moves onto next and through whatever unquestionable wealth can buy you.
The move is another in a long line of the 21st century’s attack on white, male men. Increasingly, the media is swamped with the voices of the endangered, gender fluid, pansexual, Papua New Guinean liberal arts major, while white men are punished for speaking truth to power, metaphorically, by punching their producers.
The BBC has already announced Jeremy Clarkson’s replacement and it’s enough to make your blood boil and vote for Nigel Farage. Top Gear’s new host will be a Native American bicycling enthusiast who goes by his traditional name of Big Chief Upset-Over-Stereotypes.
As Deadline are reporting, we’ve reached over-saturation with ethnic representations in the media, but these bloodsuckers won’t stop. These people won’t rest until they have an overwhelmingly controlling share of the world’s resources and establish a social system where they control almost all of the power and can establish institutions and systems that favour themselves and their world view.
Well smoke a peace pipe over this: “Not. My. Top Gear.” “Tonto” over here will never replace our beloved “Power!” spewing, Village Green Preservation Society head chair-leading, blood infected with denim poisoning, “Jezza”.
Just watch as our beloved show about fast cars, bloke-y humour, and unfiltered Big Oil propaganda becomes a collection of clips showing people of every race and creed holding hands while promoting news stories about transsexuals using the bathroom they’re most comfortable with.
Richard Hammond is no doubt inconsolable. Let him know you are too. Let the BBC know. Let the world know. Protest, sign petitions and tweet using the hashtag “#theirBBC”.
This is by far the most pressing concern in your unemployed, student debt-suffering, Global Warming imminently approaching, wealth-gap increasing, prohibitively priced housing, institutionally racist, domestic violence ignoring, healthcare de-funding lives.
If anyone needs our concern, it’s Jeremy Clarkson.
Matthew Farthing is an opinion columnist for The (un)Australian. His first reaction to learning that Zayn Malik was leaving One Direction was to Google who Zayn Malik is.