NSW Election Ballot Papers Officially Halal Certified


The Australian Electoral Commission (AEC) has announced that all ballot papers to be used for Saturday’s NSW election, and all elections going forward, will be 100% officially halal certified.

The move has been made in response to the large amount of voters so fed up with voting that they would rather eat the ballot paper than fill it in. This is particularly the case with the NSW upper house, for which some 390 plus candidates are running.

An AEC spokesperson explained the reasoning behind the move to The (un)Australian, saying: “We received a lot of feedback from voters at the last election bemoaning the fact that there are so many people on the ballot paper that they’d rather eat the thing than fill it in below the line.

“With that knowledge, we felt it was imperative to ensure the ballot papers were not only halal certified but also kosher.”

The move has caused an uproar on social media, with a spokesperson for the anti-halal movement angrily declaring: “It’s not on! You want to live here, you do it our way or the highway, I mean what next we’ll be having Sharia law, I’d rather have Sharon’s law, which is love it or leave it, in case you didn’t get it my name’s Sharon by the way.”

When it was pointed out to the spokesperson Sharon that air was also halal certified, she held her breath and promptly passed out.

The NSW state election will be held on Saturday March 28th.

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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