In a surprise announcement from the Kremlin today, all round sportsman and Russian President Vladimir Putin has claimed a very early victory in the NSW state election.

Although the polls had yet to open, let alone vote counting begun, Putin said he had a clear mandate to govern. “The people of New South Wales have spoken, or they would have had we given them the chance,” the new Premier told The unAustralian.

The news came as a shock to outgoing Premier Mike Baird, but he pledged to work with the new administration to ensure a smooth transition of power — literally.

“I have today signed a 99 year lease for all the states power poles and wires with President Premier Putin,” he said in a statement from Macquarie St.

Opposition leader Luke Foley was also getting on with life under the new regime. “I hope to fade back into the obscurity from whence I came,” he said. Nobody thought such an outcome unlikely.

Political analyst and avid Kremlin watcher Ivan Stolichnovksy told us the outcome was not a complete surprise. “Putin has always had a big love for the great state of New South Wales and Russia’s historical claim to your natural resources is well known. He loves your Opera House and now it is his.

“After the past head of the Electoral Commission was tragically found shot to death Chechen terrorists, the new head had no trouble declaring his candidacy valid. After the that the result was a, how you say, sure bet.”

Mr Putin will be sworn in as Premier later today.

Damien Ryan
https://twitter.com/TheunAustralia

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Categories: Politics

Tags: Damien Ryan, NSW, NSW state elections, NSWVotes, Putin, The unAustralian, Vladimir Putin