Lara Bingle Relieved To Learn She’s Not The Model Shot Dead In Syria

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The Bingle-Worthington family is celebrating for the second time in as many months after it was confirmed Lara Bingle was not killed whilst fighting for ISIS.

The 27-year-old model and her 38-year-old husband actor Sam Worthington welcomed their first child into the world three weeks ago. The LA-based couple released a statement on April 1 announcing they’d named the boy “Rocket Zot” but it turned out not to be an April Fools’ joke.

As news trickled through overnight of the death of an Australian model, Bingle feared the worst, “it just all made sense. I heard ‘Australian’ and then they said ‘model’ and I thought, oh my God! That’s me!” The former star of Brendan Fevola’s group texts said she so was so upset she had to go outside to get some air – a decision she credits with saving her sanity. “I’m only outside for like a minute when some tourist yells out ‘Oy! Lara! Where the bloody hell are ya?’” Ms Bingle said whilst she wasn’t sure exactly, she was fairly certain it didn’t “start with a ssssssss”. The one-time face of Australian Tourism said her relief was palpable.

The Australian model killed in Syria turned out to be 18-year-old Sharky Jama from Craigieburn, Victoria. The (un) Australian understands he was not named by either Bingle or Worthington and despite being a member of a psychopathic death cult, never committed an atrocity as heinous as Channel 10’s Being Lara Bingle.

 

Tim Govers 

http://www.twitter.com/timgovers

 

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