Glenn McGrath Shoots Last White Rhino In Honour Of New Baby


Former Australian cricketer Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara have announced they are expecting their first child together.

McGrath had a vasectomy in 2003 but he took various steps to reverse the procedure including sacrificing half the African veldt in 2008.

The couple told The (un)Australian they were desperate to have a child so after asking the universe, meditating with the words “ooh” and “ahh” and even undergoing two rounds of IVF, they really couldn’t be happier. Whilst they’re not entirely sure what exactly did the trick in the end it seemed prudent to take out the last white rhino and “keep the Gods sweet just in case.”

Magazines across the country are set to hyperventilate with variations of Sara McGrath’s 8 Pregnancy Secrets plus dozens of feel-pinion pieces of the Is Pregnant Sara Too Fat? and Is Pregnant Sara Too Thin? genre.

Meanwhile, outraged conservationists are calling for McGrath to be jailed whilst most politicians are awaiting the results of focus groups before rushing to either congratulate a happy couple or throw a cricketing icon under a bus.

The baby will be a little brother or sister for McGrath’s two children to the late Jane McGrath and the white rhino will compliment the three stag heads, four stuffed elephants and the caged bear in the pool room.


Tim Govers

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