FFA Blames AFL For Frank Lowy’s Fall


The AFL have denied responsibility, saying ‘we didn’t even know the game was on’.

The governing body of ‘the beautiful game’ in Australia, soccer’s Football Federation of Australia (FFA), has slammed the Australian Football League (AFL) over it’s involvement in FFA chairperson Frank Lowy’s fall at this year’s A-League Grand Final.

Lowy, the 84 year-old head of Westfield’s and FFA chair, was presenting the champions trophy to A-League grand final winners Melbourne Victory when he fell off the podium in a nasty looking fall.

A spokesperson for the FFA told The (un)Australian about their belief the AFL was to blame, saying: “Look if the AFL had  let us hold the match at Etihad stadium, none of this would have happened. The only way anyone would have a nasty fall at Etihad is if they tried to run on its dodgy surface, and as everyone can see, Frank can barely stand.”

“They are entirely to blame, with their stadiums and ratings and non-rioting fans. What have we got? The bloody Wanderers and fans in balaclavas who like to loot merchandise stands rather than buy stuff from them!”

A spokesperson for the AFL laughed off the suggestion that they were responsible, saying, “Oh yeah, we were responsible for the fall? Come off it, we didn’t even know the match was on. Bloody Soccer, why don’t they go back to where they came from? Suburban sports grounds!”

Lowy has made a full recovery from his fall and is looking forward to next year’s Asia Cup, where he is hoping to fall from a much bigger stage.

Mark Williamson

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