Not Again! Cadbury Launches Cheese And Onion Chocolate


Cadbury has announced it will introduce more flavours to compliment the limited edition Vegemite-flavoured Dairy Milk block set for launch next month, starting with cheese and onion in July.

In what is widely seen as payback for the federal government’s withdrawal of a $16 million funding grant, the Tasmanian chocolate maker has promised to create increasingly revolting combinations unless and until “the feds cough up”.

Spokeswoman Amanda Banfield said if the government refuses to return to the negotiating table, consumers will be forced either to eat the new nauseating Cadbury concoctions or else learn to pronounce Bacci properly. Ms Banfield said in a worst-case scenario, honest, hard-working Australians could even be expected to “try and enjoy those wanky little Lindt balls”.

Tasmanian Senator Erica Betz has told The (un)Australian the government is unmoved by the threats and the Stuttgart-born employment minister is even said to be looking forward to the saurkraut flavour penciled in for August.

The confectioner is remaining tight-lipped on any other varieties it might be considering but The (un)Australian has obtained notes from reliable sources which indicate anchovies, olives and soy sauce are highly likely to be in the new range whilst dijon mustard, chicken tikka masala and wasabi are merely likely.

The original Vegemite flavour has had a mixed response so far with food critics seeming reluctant to give a definitive verdict. Reviewers in The Guardian appeared to enjoy it though, so it’s obviously terrifying.


Tim Govers


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