The National Party has banned the crowd from singing Waltzing Matilda before Saturday night’s rugby match between the Wallabies and the All Blacks because it encourages sheep rustling.
“The words of Waltzing Matilda glamorise the act of sheep stealing, a nasty crime that causes untold damage to the livelihood of thousands of hardworking Australian farmers every year,” said Nationals leader Warren Truss. “Some people may think it’s a harmless ditty but try telling that to a good honest farmer who has to tell his kids there’ll be no mutton on the table tonight because some dirty scumbag has flogged all the sheep.”
“There’s nothing jolly about these professional sheep rustlers who drive into your paddocks late at night with a semi trailer and make off with all your prize rams”, said Gunnedah fat lamb farmer Elmer Quade. “I applaud the actions of the ARU in banning the singing of this sordid anthem before the game.”
Officials from clinical depression organisations and suicide prevention service have also supported the ban.
“The swagman is not a positive role model for depressed young men. The song glorifies throwing yourself into a billabong as the best strategy for dealing with life’s lows,” said Beyondblue chairman Jeff Kennett. “We would lift the ban if the lyrics were changed to the swagman reaching out to chat to his mates around the campfire or sending off an urgent telegram to Lifeline.”
Security has been asked to eject anyone singing the song from the ground and Police have been asked to arrest John Williamson if he sets foot within the ANZ stadium.
Lifeline 13 11 14; Mensline 1300 789 978; Kids Helpline 1800 551 800; Swaggies Yarning Over A Billie And A Damper 555 1234 5678.