Michael Clarke Resigns From Test Cricket Over Expense Scandal

Clarke Qantas

Community furore over inexpiable expense claims has collected another victim as Michael Clarke, captain of the Australian cricket team, has announced he’ll be resigning from Test cricket. The resignation follows the revelation that Mr Clarke has claimed travel expenses for a holiday in the United Kingdom between the 8th of July and 24th of August.

Mr Clarke is the second person to resign as a result of an expense-related scandal, after former Speaker of the House, Bronwyn Bishop’s resignation early last week.

Australian cricket team coach Darren Lehmann, who once referred to himself as the cricketing love child of Michael Clarke and a potato, refused to criticise “Clarkey”, while praising his decision to resign in disgrace.

“Obviously Clarkey is a friend of mine; I have a great deal of personal respect for Clarkey” he said.

“And without wanting to underplay the significance of some of the errors of judgment which he himself has conceded and apologised for, I think he’s certainly done the right thing. This has obviously been a very difficult day for Clarkey. We should all respect Clarkey for how difficult it is to resign after betraying the community’s trust.”

Mr Lehmann conceded that Mr Clarke’s career in cricket is “done”. However, “Clarkey’s” skills as an Australian cricket captain makes him uniquely qualified to work as an expert consultant in air conditioning, motor oil and proper vitamin consumption.

Matthew Farthing is the sports reporter for The (un)Australian. He supports WWE’s decision to remove Hulk Hogan from their hall of fame following the wrestler’s racist tirade. Comment’s like Hulk Hogan’s besmirches the proud institution that birthed “Kamala The Ugandan Giant”.

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