Author Archives

I'm a writer, comedian, improviser, actor, photographer, model, critic, commentator, and in my spare time I work full time in a white collar job.

• Twitter Threatens To Improve Service With Comic Sans Font

  By Matthew J. Farthing on 28/10/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey has issued a harrowing threat to consumers amid falling share prices, warning that in a continued effort to improve the Twitter experience, the company will change the font of their messages to Comic Sans. Comic Sans… Read More ›

• Fairfax Determines The Election Is The Time Where Voters Least Need To Be Informed

  By Matthew J. Farthing on 10/05/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  Following the announcement of the federal election scheduled for July 2nd, a cost-benefit analysis by Fairfax Media has determined that now is the time Australians least need to be informed. 30 staff in Fairfax’s Sydney and Melbourne offices were brought… Read More ›

• Australians Excited Over Rare Opportunity To Elect Their Leader

  By Matthew J. Farthing on 09/05/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  Australians across the nation have expressed excitement upon discovering that they may be able to have a say in electing the leader of their country. While on paper the country is described as a democracy, most of Australia’s modern leaders… Read More ›

• John Kasich Announces He Was Still In The Race In Order To Announce He’s Dropping Out Of The Race

  By Matthew J. Farthing on 05/05/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  Ohio Governor John Kasich has called a press conference to remind people that he is still in the race to be the GOP nominee for President in order to increase the impact of his announcement that he is suspending his presidential… Read More ›

• Turnbull Warns Bleeding Hearts Not To Get “Misty-Eyed” Over Human Rights Violations

  By Matthew J. Farthing on 29/04/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  Following a ruling by the PNG Supreme Court declaring Australia’s detention centres illegal, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has warned Australians not to get “misty-eyed” over the victims of its human rights abuses. A bi-partisan, 20 year campaign waged by Australia’s… Read More ›

• Lazy Journalist Publishes Obituary With David Bowie’s Name Crossed Out And Prince’s Written In

  By Matthew J. Farthing on 22/04/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  A Journalist for New York’s LA Daily has managed to beat all other websites to publishing an obituary for the musical artist Prince by republishing a previous obituary written for David Bowie, with Bowie’s name crossed out and Prince’s written… Read More ›