Australians Excited Over Rare Opportunity To Elect Their Leader

ballot box

Australians across the nation have expressed excitement upon discovering that they may be able to have a say in electing the leader of their country. While on paper the country is described as a democracy, most of Australia’s modern leaders have been picked through an opaque process involving closed doors, secretive cabals, and “Knifey”, Australia’s anthropomorphic election knife.

Often discussed in hushed whispers, and frequently dismissed as an old wives tale, voting for the Prime Minister has usually been placed in the same category as the Yowie or drop bears by young voters.

Brent Eastwood, a 27 year old plumber from Riverton, NSW, told the (un)Australian that he was surprised that he would be entrusted with this opportunity;

“The winner of the next election could serve for 3 times longer than the current Prime Minister has, if they’re lucky. I’m shocked the Australian government is entrusting its people with such a serious decision,” Mr Eastwood explained.

But whilst some voters may worry that they’re not up to the task, current Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull praised the wisdom of voters in his election pitch;

“I know that the good burghers of Australia, in their infinite sophistication, will select the right leader for their country,” Mr Turnbull stated during his press conference.

“And if they make the wrong decision, we can always fix it within 24 months.”

Matthew Farthing is the Election reporter for the (un)Australian. His American friend could have sworn Malcolm Turnbull made a mistake and should have said “2nd of July, 2018”.

https://twitter.com/MattJFarthing

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Categories: Politics

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