Twitter Threatens To Improve Service With Comic Sans Font

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Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey has issued a harrowing threat to consumers amid falling share prices, warning that in a continued effort to improve the Twitter experience, the company will change the font of their messages to Comic Sans.

Comic Sans is a controversial sans-serif typeface created in 1994 after inventor Vincent Connare made a wish to become a famous typeface-designer on a satanically cursed Monkey’s Paw.

The new Comic Sans Twitter is currently in the beta stage, with testers noting that “tweets” looked “just as awful as anyone could have predicted”. Engineers at Twitter are said to be “very pleased” with current the results.

As news of the potential change broke, consumer backlash became immediate and swift. High-profile users such Kanye West promptly criticised the proposal, tweeting; “IF MY TWEETS WERE IN COMIC SANS MY DEFENSE OF BILL COSBY WOULD HAVE LOOKED RIDICULOUS!!!!” the rapper tweeted.

Despite the negative reception, Mr Dorsey remained unswerving in his tyrannical decree: “The thing you like is dumb and stupid. Twitter’s anachronistic font may have been adequate in 2015, but this is 2016 and Twitter needs to remain at the forefront of technological progress to stay relevant.

“With new social media apps popping up every day and people starting to read books again, Twitter will continue to innovate by aping from Facebook and messing around with its interface in a desperate attempt to remain relevant.”

Matthew Farthing is the Social Media Reporter for the (un)Australian. Facebook refused to make him a Friends Day video but has one in the chamber for Acquaintances Day.

https://twitter.com/MattJFarthing

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter or like us on facebook.



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