Turnbull Warns Bleeding Hearts Not To Get “Misty-Eyed” Over Human Rights Violations


Following a ruling by the PNG Supreme Court declaring Australia’s detention centres illegal, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has warned Australians not to get “misty-eyed” over the victims of its human rights abuses.

A bi-partisan, 20 year campaign waged by Australia’s governments has successfully stripped its citizens of their capacity for empathy. But the Prime Minister demonstrated concern that trendy buzz-terms such as “unconstitutional”, “rights violations”, and “universal condemnation” might reverse decades of hard work.

“You gotta be cruel to be kind, in the right measure,” Mr Turnbull stated in a press conference yesterday, quoting the legal case of Nick Lowe v Jane Doe.

Over half of the immigrants being processed in Manus Island’s detention centre have been determined to be legitimate refugees. Papua New Guinea’s highest court ruled that continuing to keep these people locked up was a violation of their “freedoms and rights”. Legal representatives for the detention centre, however, pointed out that if they were truly refugees they’d be used to having their freedom and rights violated

The government has assured the public and Papua New Guinea that it is considering all options to resolve this issue. When asked if this included resettlement in Australia, Immigration Minister Pete Dutton told reporters that “all options were on the table” but that a GST increase would be more likely.

According to government sources, the two leading options over resettlement in Australia are; to directly mail out arguments for a law change to Papua New Guinean politicians on the back of $100 notes, and to whistle and pretend like it didn’t hear the Supreme Court’s judgement.

Matthew Farthing is the international reporter for the (un)Australian. He supports the government honouring the 1 year anniversary of the execution of the Bali Nine duo by ignoring the law of sovereign nations.


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Categories: Politics, World

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