Furious Scott Morrison Turns Into Incredible Hulk And Destroys Bank

Scott Morrison

The Menai branch of the Commonwealth Bank has been reduced to a pile of rubble after an angry federal treasurer Scott Morrison transformed into the Incredible Hulk.

“Steam started coming out of Scott’s ears, his muscles swelled enormously and he burst totally out of his shirt,” said shaken bank manager Ron Penchain. “He then rampaged through the bank smashing holes in the walls with his mighty green fists.”

Morrison became furious after bank executives were slow to confirm that they would be paying for $120 million of restored ASIC funding out of corporate profits.

“We gave Scott a wink and said of course we wouldn’t be passing on the cost of funding the regulatory body to our customers,” said Westpac executive Shauna Moneybox. “Then he found out we were going to be charging pensioners a $500 fee for breathing the air inside our branches and he just completely freaked out.”

“We though that Scotty can get as mad as he wants because he has no real power to punish us,” said cowering ANZ executive Peter Coinroll. “But after seeing the way he was tossing work stations around like confetti I’m thoroughly frightened and would never consider crossing him again.”

A furious Morrison was last seen bounding towards Malcolm Turnbull’s house muttering something about changing the date of the budget without consultation.

Peter Green

In Sydney? Come and see our live show The (un) Australian: Live and Libellous on May 3 at the Sydney Comedy Festival. Book tickets here

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter or like us on facebook.


Categories: News

Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: