Australia Suffers From Bintang Singlet Shortage


Airlines are reviewing options for extra flights from Bali to Australia to get Bintang singlets to where they are needed most.

In the wake of Virgin Australia and Jestar cancelling flights in and out of Denpasar airport due to a giant ash cloud hanging over Indonesia, bogans from all over Australia are going without their Bintang singlets.

Craig Mackenzie from Sutherland was stuck at Sydney’s Kingsford Smith Airport for over 24 hours before flights finally restarted yesterday, causing him to miss his mate’s bucks party in Kuta. “Its just unfair,” Mr Mackenzie said, “all of my mates already have Bintang singlets from last years footy trip. I turned up to last Sundays BBQ in a Tooheys blue singlet and they all just laughed at me.”

Sheree Wright from Bexly agrees: “We have been planning our family holiday for months now. All we wanted to do was go somewhere and immerse ourselves in the traditional local culture of Bintang singlets, pink hair braids and henna tattoos and now this volcano has ruined everything.”

Spokesperson from the Department of Foreign Affairs Jason Gordon told The (Un)Australian that a Bintang hotline had been set up and that since 9am Monday morning had taken over 500 calls. “We are setting up some emergency supplies of Bintang singlets that will be made locally, this should appease some concerns at least for the short term.”

With flights finally back up and running, airlines are keeping a close eye on the Bintang situation. “We are reviewing options for additional flights from Bali to Australia to get Bintang singlets to where they are needed most,” a spokesperson for Jetstar said.

The Mt Raung volcano has played havoc with flights since it began spewing corrosive, silica-based ash in early July. Now with the recent floods in Thailand and Myanmar, local travel agents are warning there could soon be a Singa singlet shortage as well.


Gus W. Templeton

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