In a move analysts have described as ‘novel’, Australia’s troubled currency is set to be pegged to the fortunes of Collingwood Football Club. Treasurer Joe Hockey has taken the step in an attempt to slow the dollar’s rapid slide away from parity with the US.
Asked why the treasury did not choose to tie the currency’s value to a top four team, rather than one not expected to make the finals, Hockey replied “Listen, we’re Australians and we support the underdog, whether that’s in footy, tennis, or fiscal policy affecting millions of people’s standard of living”. When pressed, Hockey said Tom Waterhouse is giving $151 for Collingwood to win the flag and reckons he might lose his shirt there.
China is already believed to be investigating pegging the yuan to current ladder leaders Fremantle Dockers. Fremantle currently have 64 points, which, being eight times eight, is thought to be lucky in Chinese culture.