People of Canning Promised Pork Barrel Factory

shorten and abbott

The looming by-election for the seat of Canning in Western Australian is a critical picture of how the Australian public is viewing the Abbott government. The picture is somewhat complicated by the popularity of the late member for Canning Liberal MP Don Randall.

“We really need this,” Liberal spokesman Mike Ardent said this morning. “Look it’s like this…the people of Canning already love us. They do. And we’re going to make them love us more with this new manufacturing opportunity. We are going to give this country more pork crackling than they can poke a stick at. And all by Christmas!”

The Abbott government has promised the burgeoning industry 2 billion dollars straight away or after the next federal election, but definitely before the Canning by-election if the Liberals are elected…depending on the availability of elected members, the money being available, budget forecasts, the results of overseas tenders, whether it is a core election promise and the expected great sales of Justin Bieber’s latest album.

Liberal spokesman Mike Ardent again. “Look. Here’s the thing those people serve the best. They are very, very fine people. Very fine. We, in the coalition, intend to make them an iron clad promise with this pork barrel factory. And to make sure they can see that promise clearly we intend to bend them over that barrel and show them how much we love them. And we love them a heck of a lot!”


Matt Gaddes

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Categories: Politics

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