Attorney-General George Brandis has today announced that “The Government is supporting the telecommunications industry to the tune of $131 million to assist it in its data retention operations.” Senator Brandis argued that ISPs have no excuses not to be ready.
“We are giving some ISPs an 18 month extension if they need it and my department will be very generous with those extensions,” said Mr Brandis.
A government spokesman, however, indicated that the money had previously been made available, but was now unavailable.
When later questioned about the funds Senator Brandis confused that he may have accidentally already spent the funds.
“I’m not sure how it happened.” Mr Brandis said, grimacing. “I was initially swatting up on what metadata is. I’m still a little hazy on it. Anyway, I decided to take a break and was flicking through my phone apps. Someone must have put Candy Crush on my phone. Before I knew it I was hooked. I should point out that I’m way ahead of all of my friends now. I would also like to say that I’ve arranged, with HR, to pay the money be with $20 out of each pay packet. I would also like to say I’m very sorry. Let’s all just forget about it. I can assure you I’ll be getting on with my job.”