Hundreds of muppets are tonight living rough after being evicted from their homes due to the gentrification of the iconic Sesame Street neighbourhood.
“Property developers have moved in on what they consider to be prime inner city real estate making the area unaffordable for the original residents,” said residents action group leader Big Bird. “When we complained about it we were told our concerns were being brought to us by the care factor zero and the letters F and U.”
“I’m used to living in a trash can so this won’t make much difference to me anyway,” said a local grouch who spoke to us on condition of anonymity. “This whole neighbourhood are a bunch of spongers who’ve been living on hand outs for years. To be more precise, they’re a bunch of sponges living with a hand in.”
“One empty cardboard box to live in, two empty cardboard boxes to live in, three empty cardboard boxes to live in ha ha ha ha,” said former mathematician and aristocrat The Count. “I’m expected to retrain for another job now that pocket calculators have taken over my industry. Maybe I can get some part time work during the Australian census.”
“Times will be tough but at least we have each other,” said 64-year-old Ernie, who up until today shared a one bedroom flat with his best friend Bert. “Hey Bert, Bert, ain’t that right Bert. We still got each other.”
Prices for apartments in the new Sesame Gardens development start at $550,000 for a one bedroom studio off the plan.