Australian Cricket Team Appoints Roxy Jacenko As New Batting Coach To Combat Spin

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The Australian cricket team, fresh off it’s latest thrashing at the hands of Sri Lanka on the sub-continent, has appointed public relations ‘guru’ and star of 60 Minutes Roxy Jacenko as their new batting coach. The move is hoped to help counter the teams fear of spin.

Speaking to The (un)Australian, Jacenko spoke of her new appointment, saying: “It’s about time I get to work on the world stage, I’m very talented you know. The first thing I’ll be doing is making sure every player has an Instagram account and from there we will work on freshening up their image, create a bit of controversy, I wonder what Lara Bingle’s up to these days?”

Former Australian cricket captain Ian Chappell was angry, then we called him and he was furious upon hearing of Jacenko’s appointment, saying: “In my day when a player had a problem with spin I’d sit them down, we’d drink a keg of beer and I’d belittle them, did that to Douglas Walters once in Mumbai and he went out the next day and scored a century. Let me loose on that little sissy Stephen Smith, I’ll fix him.”

The Australian cricket team will face Sri Lanka in three more matches, no word yet on what Roxy Jacenko will be wearing to those matches but she has promised to live tweet selection.

Mark Williamson
www.twitter.com/MWOh44

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