Just days after Treasurer Scott Morrison’s injunction that tax-payer funded research projects should pass the “pub test”, the Australian Research Council has announced a new fully funded project dedicated to developing a hangover cure.
ARC spokesperson Charles Boffin said: “The treasurer told us to get out there and test ideas in the front bar of a few Western Sydney pubs and the support was pretty overwhelming for curing the hangover in the Rooty Hill Hotel last night.”
“Yeah I work with heavy machinery,” hotel regular Mick Builder told The (un)Australian when we visited the pub to discuss the project, “and I really don’t have much use for investigating Tibetan Buddhism or whatever, but I am really hoping the lads can sort out the hangover cure coz I start work at 6am tomorrow and I’m about half a dozen scotch and cokes past smashed.”
Boffin said they had a few other pub tested research projects to announce soon, including a plan approved by the patrons at Penrith’s Imperial Hotel to investigate the impact of free booze on economic productivity, while the Campbelltown Hotel regulars were said to be especially enthusiastic backers of detailed research to find the best combination of sauces for the perfect Halal Snack Pack.
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