Dazed Tony Abbott Lucky That Tasmanian Only Attacked Him With One Head


Doctors say that Tony Abbott is fortunate that an irate Tasmanian was only able to headbutt him with one of his heads in an attack on the former PM in Hobart last night.

“Tony could have sustained very serious injuries from a proper apple buster if his assailant had managed to connect with both of his heads,” said Dr Bernice Derwent, chief neurosurgeon at the Royal Hobart Hospital. “Fortunately we’re used to treating headbutt injuries in our casualty department, especially on windy days.”

The debate about the SSM survey has been particularly divisive in Tasmania, where many voters have one head that wants to vote YES and another that wants to vote NO.

“Allowing same sex marriage is a slippery slope that will end with people who aren’t relatives being allowed to get married,” claimed Tasmanian senator Eric Abetz. “I’m especially against lesbians being allowed to marry. Last time I looked my atlas contained a map of the mainland and a map of Tasmania, not two maps of Tassie.”

Peter Green

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