Small independent sexual harasser Harvey Weinstein has been installed as favourite to win this year’s Academy Award for Best Harasser despite strong competition from blockbuster creeps such as Donald Trump, Roger Ailes and Bill O’Reilly.
“There’s been strong buzz for Harvey ever since Sundance where every female at the festival stood up after his appearance on opening night and declared they felt icky being alone in the same room as him,” reported Hollywood gossip columnist Brenda Nixpix. ”
Obviously Roger Ailes is the sentimental favourite because we won’t have the chance to vote for him again, but the academy seems to have gone cool on Donald Trump, probably because he’s spread the dislike against him over too many categories.”
Surprisingly, Weinstein’s biggest threat may come from another independent, former Democrat congressman Anthony Weiner.
“Being named Weiner and then involving yourself in a sexting scandal is just pure gold,” said Oscar pundit Jasper Seatfiller. “The thing that counts against Anthony is that comedies rarely win this sort of thing.”
The contenders for Best Supporting Harasser include every GOP member who has stood up for family values, except for when a family member is being pawed at by a powerful old white man.