Existence Of New Blade Runner Movie Implanted Into Minds Of World’s Nerds


The memory of having watched an entire new Blade Runner movie has been inserted into the brains of the world’s stock of replicant nerds as a means of keeping them happy and engaged while they perform the thankless task of doing all our IT work.

“I went to the multiplex, saw a whole new Blade Runner movie, and then came home and spent the night on internet forums arguing over whether or not Jared Leto is the worst actor ever committed to celluloid, and no-one can ever tell me that I didn’t,” said H-34123, the help desk guy from AMP who thinks his name is Tony.

“I’ve got the ticket stub in my jacket pocket and the taste of a giant sized bucket of popcorn still in my mouth and I distinctly remember the depth of the feeling of envy I had for the guy who was there with his girlfriend.”

“The replinerds do tend to get a bit restless if we don’t toss them some new bit of popular culture to obsess over every couple of weeks,” said Mandy Unicorn, head of psychocybernetics at the Tyrell Corporation. “Their internet activities start to leach over into forums about The Bachelorette and rugby league, and the existence of a brighter and more fulfilling outside world might accidentally enter their heads. Then who would we get to do the coding for the gaming industry?”

The Blade Runner memory plant was beamed into the replinerds this weekend after it was noticed that several had stopped opening up their fists and looking puzzledly at origami tardises, which had been given to them to reinforce the false memory of the announcement that the next Doctor Who would be female.

Peter Green

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