The memory of having watched an entire new Blade Runner movie has been inserted into the brains of the world’s stock of replicant nerds as a means of keeping them happy and engaged while they perform the thankless task of… Read More ›
Movies
Treasurer Allows Early Access To Superannuation To Buy Snacks At Movies
Scott Morrison will allow Australians to access their superannuation before retirement in order to fund the purchase of food when they go to the movies. “This measure will give young Australians a chance to get into the market for a… Read More ›
Trump Offers Meryl Streep Help With Her Russian Accent
President elect Donald Trump has responded to Meryl Streep’s comments about him at the Golden Globe Awards with an offer to coach her in how to speak with a Russian accent. “Some of my best friends are Russian so I’m… Read More ›
Mark Latham Appointed New Host Of ‘At The Movies’
Former aspiring Prime Minister and only client the taxi industry has ever referred to competing driver service Uber, Mark Latham, has today been announced as the new host of ABC1’s At the Movies. The show had previously been hosted by stalwart film… Read More ›
Hot Rich White People Gather For Annual Conference
The hottest richest white people on the planet are gathering in Hollywood this morning to congratulate themselves on another year of showing the rest of the world how accurate Karl Marx’s predictions were. The annual conference is held in downtown… Read More ›
Director Michael Bay To Cast Metadata In New Transformers Movie
Director Michael Bay, of Transformers, Bad Boys and Bad films fame has today announced he has struck a deal with the Australian Government to cast Metadata in his new Transformers film. An excited Bay told The (un)Australian, “I am ecstatic… Read More ›
