Minister for the dark arts Peter Dutton has revealed to acquaintances his frustration at being overlooked for an Oscar nomination for that time that he smiled in public. “Peter is very frustrated as it took a lot of time and… Read More ›
Oscars
Joyce And Abbott To Star In Dumb And Dumber Three
Barnaby Joyce and Tony Abbott are to replace Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels in the third installment of the Dumb and Dumber franchise. Which will be filmed in the coming weeks in and around Canberra, Armidale and Manly. “We saw… Read More ›
Harvey Weinstein Favourite To Win Oscar For Best Serial Harasser
Small independent sexual harasser Harvey Weinstein has been installed as favourite to win this year’s Academy Award for Best Harasser despite strong competition from blockbuster creeps such as Donald Trump, Roger Ailes and Bill O’Reilly. “There’s been strong buzz for… Read More ›
Bonnie And Clyde Shot Down After Trying To Steal Oscar
Legendary outlaw couple Bonnie and Clyde have been ambushed in a hail of bullets after coming out of retirement to try to steal the Academy Award for best picture. “Ms Parker and Mr Barrow were attempting to make a getaway… Read More ›
Trump Refuses To Rule Out Invading Poland
American President elect Donald Trump has refused to rule out invading Poland after the country declined to extradite film director and statutory rapist Roman Polanski. Tweeting to @TheUnOz President elect Trump tweeted: “I will consider invading Poland to get to… Read More ›
Oscar Winners Who Abuse Their Moment In The Sun To Be Fired Into Actual Sun
US space agency NASA has entered into an agreement with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to install a rocket onstage at next year’s Academy Awards so that winners who use their 45 seconds of attention to do anything other… Read More ›
