Minister for the dark arts Peter Dutton has revealed to acquaintances his frustration at being overlooked for an Oscar nomination for that time that he smiled in public.
“Peter is very frustrated as it took a lot of time and effort for him to learn how to show any type of positive emotions like smiling in public,” said an acquaintance of Minister Dutton’s. “Sure Peter does smile in private but that is usually when he sees someone suffering or hears a good joke about pacific islands being swamped by rising sea levels.”
“He may not appear to be a sensitive soul but he can be when it comes to missing out on something he feels he should have, like an Oscar nomination or the Prime Ministership.”
Minister Dutton could not be reached for comment as he was being taken out for ice cream as a special ‘treat’ by his dear acquaintance Rupert Murdoch.
Mark Williamson
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