Government To Jail Citizens Who Don’t Celebrate Australia Day On January 26th


The Morrison Government has announced that they will jail any Australian citizen who does not dress appropriately or celebrate with enough vigor this Australia day.

“Look we need to celebrate this great country of ours and we need to do it on January 26th,” said Prime Minister (for now) Scott Morrison. “I mean could you imagine what Australia day would be like if the agenda was set by a bunch of inner city trendies?”

“Instead of snags we’d be eating mung beans and you can forget board shorts we’d probably have to wear gender neutral attire.”

When asked whether he felt his call for higher dress standards at Australian citizenship ceremonies was un-Australian Mr Morrison replied: “Oh look I’m this countries boss and we all know that no Aussie listens to their boss.”

“So go on wear boardies, an Aussie flag cape heck start a riot or two just make sure to celebrate Australia day or we’ll jail ya.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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