After being carefully nurtured through a nine month tour of Australia in a tube of bubble wrap, a didgeridoo has at last been settled into its final resting place up the back of some garage in Copenhagen.
“Nothing says I’m a dead set European backpacking dickhead quite like lugging a bubble wrap clad didge all the way from Darwin down the eastern seaboard,” said Danish layabout Mette Nielsen. “Whatever the fuck urge it was that possessed me to buy it in the first place is long gone and now I’m scratching my ratty dreadlocked head wondering what the fuck do I do with a freaking didgeridoo.”
“Mette had a red hot go at playing it for us when she first got home from Australia but all she produced was a splutter of vaguely farty noises and a lot of spit,” said her father Mads Nielsen. “Unfortunately our energy efficient but otherwise impracticably small house is already filled up with exceedingly stylish and unusable designer furniture, so there is no place for the didgeridoo except up the back of the garage next to the speed skates.”
It is estimated that by the year 2035 every garage in Denmark will house at least three didgeridoos, each of which has been at some stage of its existence painstakingly wedged into the back of someone’s head for seven hours on an Oz Explorer bus.