Author Archives
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Libs Increase Female Quota By Cloning Bronwyn Bishop
The Coalition has responded to criticism of its lack of female MPs by ordering its chief mad scientist Greg Hunt to produce dozens of clones of Bronwyn Bishop in his laboratory. “We found a strand of Bronnie’s hair that was… Read More ›
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Liberal Party MP Says She Could Live On $40 An Hour
A coalition MP has opposed any raise in the Newstart Allowance saying that if she had to she was well and truly capable of living on a mere $40 an hour. “I’d have to make a few sacrifices such as… Read More ›
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Monkey Wins Copyright Of Selfie
A court has awarded Donald, a New York City monkey, full copyright to a selfie that he accidentally snapped in a landmark animal rights decision. “I handed my camera to Donald when he became interested in how shiny it was,”… Read More ›
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Dead Commbank Customer Makes Fortune In The Afterlife
A deceased Commonwealth Bank customer has told the banking royal commission he’s made millions of dollars in the afterlife by following the advice of his financial planner from beyond the grave. “Since I arrived in Heaven I’ve built up an… Read More ›
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Commonwealth Games Athletes From Melbourne Seek Asylum On The Gold Coast
Officials from the Australian Commonwealth Games team have confirmed that 25 athletes from Melbourne have gone missing from the games village and are believed to be seeking asylum on the Gold Coast. “Please don’t send me back home, I can’t… Read More ›
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“Forty Is The New Thirty” Claims Malcolm Turnbull
Prime Minister (ed. please check if this is still the case) Malcolm Turnbull has stunned the mathematics world by claiming that the number 40 is now the new number 30. “Young people are maturing a lot later in life now… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 