“Forty Is The New Thirty” Claims Malcolm Turnbull

Prime Minister (ed. please check if this is still the case) Malcolm Turnbull has stunned the mathematics world by claiming that the number 40 is now the new number 30.

“Young people are maturing a lot later in life now and I’ve heard talk that 40 is the new 30,” said Mr Turnbull as he fiddled around with an abacus. “As Prime Minister I decree that is now official. All things that used to be 30 now have to be 40.”

“I’m afraid that 30 is still equal to 30 no matter what Mr Turnbull might want to believe,” said number expert Adam Spencer. “Although we believe that Mr Turnbull’s accountant has somehow managed to send 40 billion in taxable income to the Virgin Islands and have it come back as 30 billion, so it could be possible. We’ve got that guy who solved Fermat’s Last Theorem trying to work out how that happens and even he’s baffled.”

Peter Dutton, Mr Turnbull’s loyal Minister For Home Affairs, is looking forward to spending the weekend on Netflix watching old episodes of his favourite 1990s Tv series, “Thirtysomething”.

Peter Green

You can check out our new show Decennium Horribilius at this year’s Sydney Comedy Festival. Hosted by The (un)Australian, the quiz show features teams of some of Sydney’s best comics trying to answer questions about the decade of the 1990s — with prizes for the audience.

Saturday May 5, 5.30pm. The Factory Theatre. Book tickets here.

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